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Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton


Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.

Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.

Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…

In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy. Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.

Thessa's Review

Four Stars

Tis a sad, sad day when a girl doesn’t even know her own orgasm.

Oh Alice, how I’ve missed your humor. I was so freaking excited to get this book as an ARC. Alice is one of those can’t miss authors and to have an opportunity to read this ahead of time…**happy dance**

This book started off in classic Alice style with lots and lots of humor. The sexual innuendoes and smart ass whit was back in full force. Even after the first chapter, she had me smirking and giggling like a school girl. I knew I was in for quite a ride and she did not disappoint me.

Bad, rapid-fire sex and an ill-timed one-night stand had robbed me of my orgasm. She’d been on vacation for six month now. Six long months.
Poor, poor, Caroline. Can you just imagine? SIX MONTHS! And to top it all off, she has a very noisy neighbor. She just moved into a new apartment in San Francisco and her very first night in that apartment, she was greeted with “oh, Gods” and “Mmmm…Yeah, baby. Right there. Just like that…Don’t stop, don’t stop!” which was preceded in some serious spanking and wallbanging that resulted in painting to drop on her head. Oi vey This was just the beginning too. In addition to “Spanx”, her nickname to one of three of her neighbor’s harem of woman, she also gets to listen to“Purina’s” purring and “Giggler’s” giggling. I love  these nicknames, by the way... LMAO! So who is her mysterious neighbor?

“Why are you such a manwhoring asshole?” I asked, my face inches from his.
“Why are you such a cockblocking priss?” he asked, and when I opened my mouth to tell him exactly what I thought, the fucker kissed me.
Kissed me.

Meet Simon Parker, a.k.a. Wallbanger. This is Caroline’s very sexy and very sexually charged neighbor. He’s quite a looker and charmer. No wonder he has a harem of women. Simon and relationships are hard for a photographer like him. He travels a lot and knows the emotional toll it can take on a potential girlfriend. So why bother, right? So Simon is all about having his fill with willing and knowing women when he’s home from an assignment. Hence his “harem,” though he really hates that term. When they first met, it didn’t really count since Caroline chickened out. So it wasn’t until the second time when they were forced to really acknowledge each other. Sparks flew and the tension between the two was palpable. 

Wallbanger v.s. Pink Nightie Girl

They form a truce of sorts, which leads them to become very good friends. The more they hang out, the more they seem to want more. Both have their reasons to keep things on a friendship level, but eventually they do form a relationship. Will Simon finally help Caroline bring back her O? God, let’s hope so for both her and our sakes.

I really enjoyed this book. I loved the H/h, their quirky friends and I just adored Clive, Caroline’s personality filled cat. You can definitely call Clive, the story’s main comic relief. Loved the humor and loved the chemistry. However, the one thing that really prevented me from giving it more stars is the huge amount of sexual frustration I felt. If I had balls, I would’ve been in blue ball hell. LOL. I was getting way too antsy; waiting for Simon to give Caroline her long lost O. Just when you think it might happen, you feel your heart racing and you’re almost there. Just a little more and oh, my God this could be it…then…nothing. Yea. Blue balls. I can laugh about it now, but man it sucked. LOL. Anyway, you just can’t go wrong with reading this. Alice Clayton’s humor and witty writing is always welcome in my book. Love this author and I will continue to support her work. I can’t wait to see what she has next.  

4 of 5 stars false


Tiffany Wallace said...

This was a fantastic story when it was a Twilight fanfiction story called "Edward Wallbanger". I can't wait to see if she changed anything besides the names.

Thessamari said...

It's so strange to have all these fanfics of Twilight. This would've been weird for me to have Edward/Bella star in it. It does make me wonder if she did change anything else. This was a pleasure to read, as is all of Alice's books :) Happy reading!

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