GOOBER

Goober........

For those of you who don't know what "Goober" is I will explain.Please don't confuse it with "Goobers" which are cover chocolate peanuts.

Why am I posting such non-sense? Well I've asked my two chica's Sam and Rhonda,and they don't understand me.YEESH! LOL!!!!!!!

Sam asks: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOOBER? U MEAN BOOGER?

ME: No Sam,I mean "Goober" ( had to give her a visual to show,such things exists and  pull it outta my kitchen cabinet as proof.)

I ask Rhonda: Do they sell an item named "Goober where you live?"

Rhonda says: I guess that would be meeeeeeee? (she's too funny) Then she says " OOOOO I was thinking of the chocolate cover peanuts"

Me: No Girl,it's not you, and what you're talking about is "Goobers with an "S"

Rhonda says: " The "S" makes the difference.

Me: *SHAKES HEAD*

So here's my description for those of you who don't know what Goober is:

Goober is a PeanutButter and Jelly all in one jar. It's the best tasting invention EVER! My kids love this stuff.....

CHECK OUT THESE VIDEOS! HEHEHEHEHE.......

My Family and I know how this dude feels.Everytime we take a look at the jar,we wanna dance our tushes off too! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

Cracker Wrapper????

For those of you that don't know,  I work in a veterinary clinic. 

( No there will NOT be any Q&A with Rhonda, LOL!)

Anyway, along with the cute puppies and kitties I get to squeeze all day,

I also have to deal with clients.

 Well, I want to introduce you to a couple of our clients, Stuart and Dion.
( Stuart is the guy with the glasses, and Dion is the blond. )

Enjoy!

Shut your dang mouth!

I just have to share this story with everyone because it’s just not fair!

I had to get fuel today, and as per usual the price of fuel is a total rip off! But lucky for me I had a fuel discount voucher for .4 cents off per litre. So I decided that I may as well fill all the way up, right?

I ended up getting 44.09 Litres of fuel at $137.4 per litre. It came to $60.58. I was trying to do some handy dandy calculations on my way into pay, thinking I was going to get maybe $1 or $2 off the total price after I surrendered my voucher.

I walk up to the counter, and here is how it went down:

Me:  Hi, number four thanks J

Fat pimply teenager: Err, that’s $66.58, have you got any vouchers today?

Me: Sure do!  (Hands over voucher)

Fat pimply teenager: That’s a double voucher Miss, so you get 8c of per litre (scans docket)

Me: Sweet! Fuels to expensive as it is!

Fat pimply teenager: (types something into cashier) that comes to $21.78 thanks

Cheering at super cheap fuel!!

Now instead of me keeping my mouth trap shut about how drastically CHEAP my fuel is, I say (as I’m paying)

Me: Um....was that for bowsers Number 4?

Fat Pimply teenager: Yes, DSI05?

Me: Yep, that’s it. It’s just really cheap.

Fat Pimply teenager: (double checks) Sorry Miss, its scanned up for .88c per litre off not .8c per litre off. Gee thanks for being so honest and pointing that out.

Me: No troubles mate ...

Secretly inside I’m fucking seething at the fact I just opened my trap and pointed out the puss face teenager’s mistake. I could have had fuel for like jack shit a litre. I ended up having to get a refund and re scan it all thru and pay again with only a pissy little discount that came to a total.....

$ 3.53 off.

Whoopie.

Note to self. Keep mouth shut in situations where one is getting fuel for cheap as chips.



Fun times at AUSTRALIA ZOO!

Today for my daughter’s birthday we took her to Steve Irwin’s, Australia Zoo. It’s funny how you start out your day in the morning, all bright and chirpy with high spirits even though somewhere in the back of your head you know that by the time your day is thru everyone is going to be a miserable sack of shit.

Me and My Family during that euphoric moment of bliss before we leave for the Zoo...

We wondered to ourselves how long exactly it would take before that euphoric feeling melted away. For us, it was 45 mins into the trip when we stopped at the Petrol station. My youngest daughter, Michala somehow jammed her finger into the door of the car....

...she didn’t stop crying until 5 minutes before we arrived at the zoo. That was an hour later.

We expected to see animals at the zoo, and our first encounter was a giant crocodile that tried to eat me whole

What we didn’t expect was to see a man wearing a gladiator skirt...

THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!!!!!!

Sorry, got lost in a moment there J

We had about 30 more minutes of relative serenity; we had a unique Aussie moment that I had to capture with a Red Kangaroo, and a nice moment before we went into the Tiger exhibit.

CRIKEY!

After that it went downhill severely.  I couldn’t even count the amount of complaints that came out of my children’s mouths. UGH! Lets see....

Mum, I need to go to the toilet, Mum, Im hungry, Mum, my legs are sore!, Mum, I want toy, Mum, Im tired, Mum, pick me up, Mum, my finger hurts I need a bandaid, Mum, Im thirsty, Mum, Im hot, Mum, Im cold, Mum, I want an Ice block, Mum, I have a head ache, Mum, I wanna go hooommmee, Mum, she was nasty to me, Mum, Its taking to long, Mum, when we will be there, Mum, Im bored, Mum, my tummy hurts, Mum, you promised!!, Mum, but whhhyyyy.....

Needless to say, I was outta there faster than a fly to dog shit. I felt like a miserable sack of shit. Just like I knew I would.

We got home and D asks the kids, ‘did you like the Zoo girls?’ their reply was unison, ‘yyyeesss!!”. D told them we got banned and we weren’t allowed back for ten years because they were too noisy.

Lesson of today?  Don’t ever expect the Zoo to be a fun experience, when clearly it’s not.

 

Karma's a Bitch!

How many times have you heard the saying “Karma will get you”?  Well karma got me and my hubby (let’s call him D) good!

We live in a beautiful estate surrounded by lush green trees and freaking annoyingly curvy roads that someone felt the need to put speed bumps into at 50m intervals. At the very top of our estate as you leave the estate there is a dreaded STOP sign.

D and I have a bad habit of maybe, kind of rolling thru this stop sign. Repeatedly from my mother we hear ;

Mum: “one day you’re going to get caught doing that by the Police”

Me: “Yeah, yeah, I know....*crazy old lady*”

So, let me take you back to Monday this week when D comes home from work and decided he needs a new toy for his new Ute (pickup) and that we have to leave that instant to avoid the shops closing on us... so off we dredge with the kids up the curvy annoying roads with ridiculous speed bumps....

D: “Oh, there were cops up the top of the road before catching people rolling thru the stop sign”

Me: “Oh true, I bet their catching heaps of people! Hahaha”

At this moment in time, our friendly neighbour and good friend, Chris is driving down the road in the opposite direction, as the friendly people that D and I are we give the old one arm wave. But when Chris drives by he is screaming something out his window. What we didn’t know.

D:  “Wonder what Chris was yelling?

Me: “I bet he was warning us about the coppers at the top of the road”

D: "Lucky we already know"

We get to the top of the road, get to the solid white line, clearly indicating a stop is required and what does D do?

D: “Wonder if the cops are still here?”

And D proceeds to roll STRAIGHT THRU the stop sign, right into the arm of an awaiting Police officer.

Police Office:  “Sir, did you realize that you just rolled thru a stop sign back there?”

D:  “Did I? I didn’t even know there was a stop sign there!”

(D likes to think if he acts stupid, he might get away with it)

Police Office: “I’m going to have to give you an infringement notice today, Sir"

....and off goes the office to his car. 10 Minutes later he comes back with our ticket, $300 and three demerit points. I couldn’t believe it. Needless to say D was slightly pissed off and irritated. But do you think he learned!!!? NO! He decided to piss the cop of more and snatch the ticket and take off like a bloody hooligan down the road at an alarming rate. I’m in the seat next to him screaming like a banshee..

Me: “Slow down D, I don’t need another f*cking ticket!”

And to punish him even more, I decided that the $300 was such an expensive ticket that he wasn’t allowed his new toy anymore.

On our way home we stopped in at Chris’s house to see what he actually was yelling out. It was in fact:   stop at the stop sign!!

Hmmm... he could have yelled louder into my dumb arse husbands ear!

So what’s the moral of the story? KARMA SUCKS! And for heavens sack, STOP AT THE DANG STOP SIGN!!

Me, and my brand new ticket!