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Friday, 3 February 2012

Spread Love Not Hate

Spread Love, Not Hate

We want to thank these two  wonderful ladies for hosting this event. It's a great hop where bloggers can share our everyday stories, and know there are others in the the world who understand.  Let's all look on the bright-side, and hope everything turns out for the best and that others who have been less considerate, takes a look, steps back and tries to make a change.

 This blog hop came to our attention and we thought this would be a great opportunity to discuss several issues we have discussed before with each other,  and share our thoughts with others.   

We think when it comes down to Cyber bullying, whether it's about the opinions of others on books and reviews, some people take things to the extreme.  We've come across, many reviewers who find it funny to bash a writers novel, including their choice of writing.  It takes hard work, many hours and dedication for these writers try to make a success of their work. Many readers may enjoy the book  while some others may not. There's a way to express not liking a book, without bashing these authors. They are people with lives and feelings. What happened to respect with a little honesty and integrity?
  We love blogging and interacting with everyone, but sometimes it takes a toll on us as well, when we see such things happening, and instead of  "such people"  feeling ashamed, we feel embarrassed over the situation. There have been times that we've read negative reviews on books that we have loved, and found ourselves fuming because the book and the characters were completely misrepresented in the review.  We discussed with one another,  and was left wondering if this person read the same book we did.  As much as we wanted to say things, we tamped down our feelings, because the bottom line is that people are entitled to their opinions whether they're right or wrong.  Let us also ask this question:  For the love of books, why in the world would a person sit and read a series they don't like and write negative reviews?  If we don't like the first book in a series, we're certainly not going to revisit it!  Why waste our time when we could be reading something we like? There have been times that it appears,a person reads a book just to slam it.  Now for another example. Rhonda is currently reading a book based on a fan-fiction. She saw a reviewer slamming this book in it's current publication based on the original fan-fiction.  Is that fair??

Seeing people trashing a book in their review makes us feel terrible. It's okay to not like a book but it's the way it's handled by the reviewer that makes the difference. Also, another thing we have seen is readers attacking another reader because they didn't like a book that another person did.  One example was a review that was written by our reviewer here at S.E.R.'s, Ren.  Ren is from Indonesia, and loves writing reviews as much as reading the books.  Her English is far from perfect, but she puts every ounce of passion and determination into her reviews.  Ren posted a review up on Goodreads, and she was getting all kinds of love over her review.  Those of us that know Ren know where she is from and know that no one tries harder to write her reviews in ENGLISH!  Well along comes this person and starts bashing not only her opinion, but her use of grammar as well.  This was extremely hurtful toward her,  but all of her friends rallied around her to try and make her feel better.  I think we did, but I'm sure that stuck with her for a while.   

As you can see, there's bullying of all sorts, and now-a days it doesn't matter about age differences.  Someone could be 45  arguing with a 17 year old. Is this true? Yes, We've  seen and read things that will keep you thinking, "who's the grown-up here?"  And there's only so much a person can deal with, including getting their feelings hurt. Cyber bullying is one of the many controversies we've ever had to deal with. It's cruel,rude and nasty. It makes us wonder what our children are going through whether their on the web or in schools.

For Example, In this past year, a young boy at the age of 14 committed suicide over being bullied in school and on-line.  All because there were many other teens, who were spreading rumors about his sexuality.  The bullying became uncontrollable, and for this young man, unbearable.  It lead him to, not wanting to attend school, getting poor grades, having a  low self-esteem, skipping school and having health problems.  When his family thought the issue was fixed, it wasn't. The young boy decided to take his life instead facing these bullies everyday.

So we have offered three stories, and the sad part is, the list can go on and on. It doesn't mean we're here to criticize, we can't control other peoples actions, but we can control our own. It doesn't hurt to SPEAK UP when it's needed, but there is a difference in that and and it could be hurtful.  Don't use the web to be unaccountable for your actions. 

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June M. said...

Great post!!! I have seen some reviews of books where the reviewer says they don't like a genre, so I wonder why they are reading it? I have seen many reviews trashing either romance in general or certain sub-genres where the reviewer actually states that they do not like this type of book. Why would you bother to read it then? If I don't like a kind of book, I don't waste my time reading them. I think some people just have to attack others to make them feel better about themselves.

If for some reason, you do come across a book that you don't enjoy, but that you do generally enjoy the genre, I think reviews should be respectful. They should not attack the author and should be able to find some good things about the book to go with the negative, have some constructive criticism with ways you feel the story could be improved.

The most important point I think is to RESPECT each other, treat others as you would want yourself, your mother, sister, daughter, son, brother, etc treated.

Elena said...

Awe! Thanks for sharing June! I couldn't agree more. Respect is truly important. Bashing people and their thoughts,whether they're negative or positive can all be expressed in a humanly manner. If we don't spread the respect,who will?

I hate criticism and negativity. I feel ashamed for the person causing the issue and my heart breaks for the person who's enduring it.

They're are so many ways to handle such situations. And June's point was well said =)

Sebella Blue said...

I AM soo glad I stopped by for this!! I despise a bully whether cyber or otherwise, because to me it's a nasty form of cowardice which just sends me into spasms. I see this everyday as both a book blogger and an animal rights activist and I have a very hard time not reacting harshly and with extreme prejudice against such blatant acts. What we as reviewers are tasked with are bringing to light works that bring enjoyment to other people. I can always find SOMETHING positive to say. And while there are books that are not to my taste, that doesn't mean I have the right to denigrate that author's efforts. (sorry, but this issue sends me into rants). Thanks for bring this issue out in the open.... great job as usual. And Ren ROCKS!

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